There are certain activities that get me going. Certain situations, objects, places, and parts that really take sex to the next level. Don’t get me wrong, vanilla ice-cream is tasty, but sometimes I need to add some sprinkles and hot fudge sauce to enjoy my banana split sundae…

There is a direct connection between my mental state and arousal. When triggered, I go one of two ways; meltdown or hyper sexuality…

I recently posted a meme about neurodivergent people struggling with eye contact, as well as a second post about how a diagnosis is akin to learning that you’re playing the game on hard mode; it doesn’t reduce the difficulty, but it lets you strategize.

This prompted a few of my followers to ask about my diagnosis: Am I neurodivergent? So, I figured I would clarify here.

The short answer is ‘no, but…’

Basically, I have a collection of symptoms that present primarily as anxiety derived from complex post-traumatic stress disorder (c-PTSD)…

“Hey Siri, play Hybrid Theory by Linkin Park.”

I loved that album. Perfectly mixing the clash of drums, distorted guitars, and iconic new metal disc scratching, all overlayed with a vocal combination of rap, rock, and a touch of screamo. But the lyrics, they were something else entirely. It felt like they were pulled straight from my mind. Perfectly expressing the confusing feelings of rage, fear, dissociation, suicidal ideation and anger I felt. Anger I directed at myself and the anger I directed at the world.

It is amazing how much I don’t know about basic human functioning. Sure, I taught myself how to survive, but every time something new comes up, I freak out and break down. I have no basis upon which to draw from, just a gaping hole where a loving and caring childhood should have been….

To be clear, mindfulness is not the act of meditating. It is the state that arises from our meditation practice. Therefore, mindfulness is not dependent on the use of the breath as a meditation object. Anything can be used: sounds, sights, physical sensations, thoughts, and even awareness itself. In fact, if we want to integrate the benefits into our everyday life, it is vital that we explore mindfulness across a broad spectrum of meditation objects. That way, we will have the tools of mindfulness readily available to employ, wherever and whenever we need them. What is the point of our practice if the benefits do not transcend the meditation mat?

Why writing a web comic is harder than writing about trauma

I write down what was discussed, and any advice given. I do not want to leave the session and forget what was covered. I am paying for it after all, with my time, money, and mental state…

A quick review of our past reveals many moments of joy and positivity; times when things just worked. When a failure came, it did not break us. We picked ourselves back up, learnt a lesson, and pushed forward. Similarly, we can look back and see expanses of misery and suffering. Times where we were down and out, at rock bottom and struggling. There were occasional wins, yet these barely succeeded in moving the needle.