apathy

 

there is something
uniquely terrifying
about watching your emotions
dissipate before your eyes

witnessing the fear
of your fear falling away
itself fall away
into the abyss of apathy

leaving nothing
but a gentle malaise
and a question
you don’t care enough to answer

is it worse
to feel pain
or to not feel anything
at all?


This poem is from the book, ‘Poetry from a Dark Night of the Soul’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

capitalistic desire

 

here’s to the capitalistic desire
to sacrifice our lives
in order to have the
most fancy coffin
just to flex on
our friends
that we didn’t have time for
and to afford a headstone
chiselled with a quote
espousing the value
of hard work
and dedication
to something beyond ourselves
that no one will read


This poem is from the book, ‘A Requiem For What Could Have Been: Poetry For The Broken’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 

Distortions

 

My mind creates this world.
How can you say I am not God?
Every character, every scene, every aspect;
All a variation of myself.

Created in my image, created in my mind.
Both with and without intention.
The universe forever expanding
Inwardly as it does outwardly.

Distortions of reality,
More elegant than any alternate world.
Why should I leave?

Here I am something,
Simultaneously at, in and above myself.
A beautiful story of consciousness,
Played in a theatre of dreams.

Time passes, I open my eyes.
My focus wanes and I begin to forget.
Only the feelings remain,
Glorious certainty, a guide to my higher self.
Fragments of my truth are written and told.
Just a mere representation, a lie.
Imagination takes hold,
Corrupting, corroding, filling the gaps.

Stop. Let me remember.
Let me feel again,
I want the unadulterated truth.

I want to be back there again,
Where I feel divine,
Where it feels right.

Where I don't feel like a character
In someone else's dream.
I want to be present,
Both creating and existing simultaneously.

Doubts creep in,
It was just a beautiful distortion of reality,
A test of faith. Nothing to see here,
Move along. I am awake. It's gone.


This poem is from the book, ‘Words On A Page’

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, or Audiobook.

 

Reflections Of The Self

 

The world is a mirror to your soul,
Your happiness will be shown
On the faces of strangers,
Your fear will flicker in their eyes,
Your hope will express itself
In the poetry you read, as too will your ills.

The mirror rejects what you are not,
Thus the world will always be you,
In this way you are trapped,
Rejecting love when you need it most,
And the advice you most need to hear.

Yet you are not stagnant,
And neither is the mood of the world,
What happens in one, distorts the other,
Words can scratch, and actions can crack,
So keep a watch on its surface,
And a polishing rag in hand.

Realise that the mirror is in fact imperfect,
Subject to change, manipulation and control,
Those reflections are more than phantasms,
They have a force that can break.
So watch the mirror,
Be on guard against its influence,
But also influence your guard,
For your actions may inadvertently
Shatter someone’s soul.


 

Stuck Inside My Mind

 

This is freestyle improve poem, you can watch the video on Instagram, listen to the audio here

i feel stuck inside my brain
the anxiety is gone
but the pain still remains
my childhood on repeat
embodying the shame
fear
loneliness
self-blame
what remains but tears?
what remains but fears?
what remains but me staring into my own soul?
trying to fill my own
i'm not whole
i'm wanting to see
i'm wanting to be
i'm wanting to move
i'm wanting to be free
but the pain she has me
maybe it's the past
the past me that she had
she grabbed me
held me
hurt me
i don't know me
all those things
are they a memory or they of false lie?
you know gaslighting myself
through the past memories of me?
trauma comes trauma goes
what am i left with?
nobody knows just fucking rhymes
just me speaking to myself
counting through times
saving time
stopping time
because right now i want to be here in this time
now
here
now
right now
what is it about now that feels so unsafe?
nothing's wrong
this thing this place is fine
i am safe
but my mind it feels like a wafe
i'm weak
i feel unable to speak
unless i'm alone
unless i'm holding this phone
unless i'm looking into my own eyes
unless i'm remembering what i despise
a lot of the time
it's myself the ways that i responded to things well beyond me
her eyes who could see through me
i don't even know me
the things that i like
the things that i do
do i actually like them or are they a response to you?
to what you did?
to what you said?
to what you made me feel?
my life will work is just to heal
what sort of life is that?
what sort of a life is one in response
reactive instead of proactive
responding to triggers inside my body?
i feel that i want to heal
not lie dead or turn over and keel
but it's fucking hard to keep going
to keep on showing up
to keep moving
to keep hoping
stop myself from blowing up
i put these words out there
and wonder they’ll corrupt another person like me
into thinking differently
into speaking out
into seeking help
into understanding what it's all about
that they're not alone
that they can find a home
i say all of these things
but it's all a fucking lie
because my body and my brain seem to want to fucking die
waking up in tears
reverberating in fear
it seems clear that this battle is ongoing
that have to keep on showing up
that i have to keep on moving
but it's just hard
it's hard to keep on grooving when the music is playing
sounds like a funeral march
starch words
my mouth is parched
shouldn't go to alcohol
shouldn't drink
because then i'd be unable to think
vomit those words down the sink
with the food
with what i eat
with the souls of my feet
i walk across broken glass
across jagged rocks
raw skin no socks
let alone shoes let alone
support or help
who would break the news?
who would share such blues?
thank god that i have children to keep me here
i have to remain to help them
to show them
to teach them how to tie their shoes
to hold them hand in hand
to walk them across the land
to carry them on my shoulders
to say
‘hey look at life it can be grand!’
i'm blessed with the baggage of life
weighed down by love
despite all of the inner strife
i'm weighed down but i wonder whether my father was also
he had me
he had my brother
yet he fell
to another
to himself
to the trauma he had
generational it’s cyclic
so that i wonder
i hold my kids up
i walk with them
i show them the way
but the way is blocked
by my own dismay
they see it in my eyes
they see it in my tears
they see me suffering
they see my fears
and they know that they are part me
genetically
environmentally
are they cursed like me?
are they cursed to see the world bleakly?
are they cursed to walk meekly
in fear of themselves
and how they respond to every little thing?
people say i'm brave for speaking out thusly
to put my thoughts here
to share what's in here
but it's not brave
it’s all i can do to save myself
to express the inner mess
from the safety of a screen
when really i can't handle being seen
what would it mean for you to see my soul?
to see me
actually
to see my whole?
my whole self
these words
my words
the pain it needs to become my wealth because i can't handle doing anything else
take a breath
drop all expectations
be here now
you are safe
good thoughts
bad thoughts
it's ok to have all thoughts
these are the words i say to myself
daily
let it go and just feel
take some time
take a breath
heal
it's okay
it's okay to look to not know your way
i say these words to myself every day
i say them in my head when i'm watching my kids play
when he's over there and i'm here and we're just a metre away
but i can't seem to breach that inner gap
i can't seem to take that step to have him and hold him and put him in my lap and hug him and say him it's okay to say that it's just a day
that daddy will be okay
because i don't know
and yet i persist
i keep going
i keep trying to find my way
i keep trying to see the truth
so if you're listened all of this way
10 minutes
turn this video off
sit in the sun
speak
find a way to play to make this day go your way
to slay
to play
or at least just to allay
some of the negativity
keeping your brain at bay
see you next time
hey


This poem is inspired by the book, ‘How To Write Evocative Poetry’.

You can read some chapters from the book, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

BRAT

 

Erotica, R-18+

Sucking his dick
whilst he’s on the phone.
Getting off on his attempts
to stifle a moan.

Going faster,
making him stutter.
Going deeper,
he’s melting like butter.

He pushes you away,
you hold on tight.
Hands around his waist,
you’ll win this fight.

He wants you to stop,
he wants you to keep going.
This is an important business call!
You just shrug and keep blowing.

He covers the receiver
and calls you a brat.
Tells you in no uncertain terms,
you’re in for a stern chat.

But that’s not now
and he’s about to blow.
You decide to edge him,
you decide to take it slow.

He shakes his head
and pushes your head down.
You started this honey,
so let’s not clown around.

You take him all the way
using your tongue as well.
He cums down your throat,
now you’re excited as hell.

The call is over
and now you’re bound.
Listen here brat
it’s your turn to be pound.

There’s nothing you can do
you’re reaping what you sowed.
Now you’re on the edge,
your man has slowed.

It lasts for hours,
repeatedly taking you to the brink.
He’s so fucking good,
you can barely think.

It’s both pleasure and pain,
a beautiful torture.
At last he takes you,
at last you merger.

He ends with a warning,
don’t you dare do that again.
But you both know you will,
it’s how you stay sane.


This poem is from the book, ‘Kink, Volume 2’

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

All I See

 

all I see
when I look inside
is the hole
where the memories
of my father
should be


This poem is from the book, ‘A Requiem For What Could Have Been: Poetry For The Broken’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 

A Sun Shower

 

A sun shower
Beautiful nourishing chaos
Raindrops of gold
Rainbows painting clouds
Warmth of the light
Meets
Chill of the water
A moment of bliss
A moment of peace
A moment of reflection
Birds call
Wind blows
The moments past


This poem is from the book, ‘A Requiem For What Could Have Been: Poetry For The Broken’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

Do You Love Me, Or Just The Idea Of Me?

 

Do you love me,
Or just the idea of me?

I may be your ‘dream girl’
But I am real,
And that reality is different
From your fantasy.

How often must we fight,
Just to clarify
That you expected
Me to speak differently?

How many tears must fall,
Just to realise
That you expected
Me to be something I’m not?

If you love me,
Please drop your expectations
And open your eyes
To the real me.

My body has blemishes.
I will lose my temper.
I judge unfairly.
I get things wrong. 

I am not perfect,
No one is.
Unless of course,
They’re just a dream.


This poem is from the book, ‘A Requiem For What Could Have Been: Poetry For The Broken’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 

Sapiosexual

 

Erotica, R-18+

Here is a sentence,
crafted specifically to arouse you.

No,
I won’t use big words just to impress.

Such an approach
lacks refinement.

Anyone
can use a thesaurus
to substitute words.

Unfortunately,
those fancy words
convey less meaning
than the simple option.

Brevity is the soul of wit,
but also the soul of arousal.

Watch: I want you.

I want you,
As you are,
For who you are,
Right now.


This poem is from the book, ‘Kink, Volume 2’

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

What You Want

 

Erotica, R-18+

Tell me
Specifically
Explicitly
Directly
What you want
And it’s yours

All you need do
Is speak
And I will give you
Everything
You desire

Just one word
Just one command
Just one moment of assertiveness
Will be enough
For you
To have everything

So tell me
What you want


This poem is from the book, ‘Kink, Volume 2’

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

Thirst Trap

 

Erotica, R-18+

The irony is
Those who only
See me
As my body
Will forever
Fail
To obtain it
Yet
When one
Takes the time
To explore my mind
To delve my soul
My body
Is freely given
To be used
However
They wish 


This poem is from the book, ‘Kink, Volume 2’

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

Degrade Me

 

Erotica, R-18+

Veiled insults
Read as compliments
Read as flirtation
Arousal
Your words
Degrading me
Beating me down
Picking at my insecurities
Revealing my darkest truths
But
Because they come from you
Because I know your intention
Because of the connection we share
They feel like love
Filling me up
Making me feel safe
Embracing my depravity
Living out my animalistic lust
Encouraging
Allowing
Freeing me
Totally


This poem is from the book, ‘Kink, Volume 2’

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

As I

 

Erotica, R-18+

I want to be under your skin
As I look upon it

I want to know you
As I move inside you

I want to understand your mind
As I taste your flesh

I want to hear your words
As I moan your name

I want to connect with your soul
As I take your body


This poem is from the book, ‘Kink, Volume 2’

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

Written Review

 

Erotica, R-18+

The guy seemed all talk,
promising to make me scream.
Like nothing I’ve experienced before,
He’d fulfil my wildest dream.

‘I’m larger than average,
my tongue can do a trick,
with my hands I’ll caress,
my moves are super slick.’

‘I don’t know,’ I replied,
‘It’s easy to brag,
do you come with references
that can rate your shag?’

‘Oh yes,’ He said
handing me a written review.
Promising that I’d be so satisfied that
I’d write him one too.

Now I had some proof
that he could potentially deliver,
besides all this banter
was starting to make me shiver.

Why not? I thought,
may as well give him a crack.
I invited him over
and laid down on my back.

With deft proficiency
he touched me everywhere,
slowly building up
until I was screaming a prayer.

‘My goodness!’ I exclaimed,
you need to work on your words.
‘Dam boy you’re underselling yourself,
at least by two thirds.’

He didn’t stop there
in fact he went harder,
pulling out the toys and
tying me down with ardor.

He taught me new moves
and positions of pleasure.
He guided me through new scenes,
totally at his leisure.

That suited me fine cause
I was enjoying the ride
and that is why I’ve chosen
in this poem to confide.

He may seem all talk
but trust me when I say,
that he will deliver on it all
satisfying you in every way.

I am in fact surprised
that he doesn’t come with a queue.
Hopefully I can fix that for him,
with this written review.


This poem is from the book, ‘Kink, Volume 2’

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

To Purchase The Moon

 

I sacrificed the sun
To purchase the moon
Working hard
From dusk to noon

But all you see
Is me locked away
Stuck in my room
Unable to play

I’m trading my time
For you to live
It’s the only thing
I’m able to give

I’m so sorry son
I know you need more
You need more of me
Of that I’m sure

I hate how this world
Forces us apart
I long for the days
I could apprentice you to my art

But that would just be
A different kind of pain
What if you didn’t want
To work in my same vein?

Thus my attempt
To lift you high as I can
I want you to become
A fulfilled and happy man

There is no right answer
Beyond a cry and a shrug
Other than to read you a nightly story
And depart with a hug

Just know I’m always thinking
Of you and your brother
I love you both
You two and your mother


This poem is from the book, ‘Wage Slave, The Unpaid Overtime Edition’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 

Orgasm

 

Erotica, R-18+

The brief moment
When all the world stills
The fall
Into a lovers embrace
Into ecstasy
Into oblivion
The little death
A eulogy of motion
A tribute to the moment
To passion for passions sake
To losing oneself
In the safety of another
In their flesh
In their mind
In their totality
And them in yours
A frenzy
A connection
A satiation
Peace


This poem is from the book, ‘Kink, Volume 2’

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

Good Girl #1

 

Erotica, R-18+

Kneel
Tongue
Tip
Slowly
Deeply
Hands
Faster
Stay
Swallow

Good girl


This poem is from the book, ‘Kink, Volume 2’

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

Eyes

 

She has sad eyes. Forlorn. Longing.
Young, but not innocent. She’s seen things.
She hid, she ran, she learnt.
Yet her troubles still follow.
So she smiles wide, laughs and parties.
But it’s just a cover.
Mostly she’s acting.
In attempting to fool herself, she loses herself.
Questions arise. These questions she ignores.
Her worries are of the future,
Yet she lives for the now.
Avoiding. Pretending. Feeling. Breaking.
But she is young, and she is pretty,
So most are captured by her smile.
Not by the pain in her eyes,
Reflecting the depth of her soul.


This poem is from the book, ‘Words On A Page’

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

I Want To Be Fucked...

 

Erotica, R-18+

I want to be fucked

Not romanced
Not held
Not made love to

Fucked

Taken
Used
Controlled
Posed
Choked
Ridden
Pounded
Dominated

Fucked

I don't want you to be gentle
I don't want you to be kind
I don't want you to go slowly

I want you to fuck me 

Take me
Slap me
Bind me
Move me
Abuse me
Own me

Fuck me


This poem is from the book, ‘Kink, Volume 2’

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.