This free shadow work journal PDF will help you discover your truth and become whole. Inside you will find a comprehensive guide to shadow work journaling alongside a colleciton of activities and prompts.

I believe in informed enthusiastic consent in all things - If you and everyone involved are not saying ‘fuck yes’ to an idea, event, or action it’s a ‘hell no’…

I have had tremendous success recently transcending trauma and healing complex PTSD with Internal Family Systems and wanted to share a deep unlock that I experienced today.

Below is a poem called ‘dear little part of me’ - it expresses the end point of an internal dialogue that I had with a young protective part of me…

I am two people contained in one body.

Number One is self-conscious, prone to prolonged bouts of mental illness, and not at all confident.

Number Two is a highly motivated, fit and confident person. One who pushes himself daily to grow, learn and produce.

My father was a drug dealer. He would use the profits from what he sold, to pay for what he used himself.
 
Growing up I was exposed to his dealing on a daily basis. I watched and learnt. Taking in all of the lessons he didn’t realise he was teaching…

Rock bottom implies a hard abrupt end. A clear definable point at which things can’t get worse.

I realise I’ve been waiting for such a point, waiting for a clear moment where I can say, ‘ah ha! This is it, this is the lowest point of the dark night of my soul.’

But now I realise that the analogy of rock bottom is faulty…

The body keeps the score alright - for me it’s my belly, specifically on the left side just below my belly button.  Deep trauma that gets triggered when I eat the wrong foods (or too much), when I stretch, when I work out my core and when I’m having body dysmorphia issues.

Throughout my childhood I would always see things through other people’s eyes. Not in the empathic sense, but in the seemingly literal sense. I would never be truly in my own mind, rather I would 'see myself' from a third person perspective. This was true for most of my memories, dreams, and imaginations. It would even somehow occur in real time. For example, when walking down the street to the local shop, I would not see the goings on from my own perspective. Logically, I would be using my own eyes to navigate and avoid obstacles and the like, but internally, my perception of reality would somehow be simultaneously presented to me from an outside perspective.

It was as if I was constantly observing my life through a television set, watching the characters interact, seeing them move and hearing them talk. Just like when you are watching television, there is little emotional investment in the outcome. You know that it is all just an act and that everyone involved is just pretending. So what if the main character dies, this show is not real. So what if his brother is being bullied, this show is not real. It does not matter that somebody is doing drugs in front of their five-year-old child, this show is not real.