Why I Cut Myself, and What Helped Me to Stop
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"It was like releasing water through a dam. It felt like if I didn’t cut, that my mind would crack, with devastating results ..."
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Jiu Jitsu and Mental Health: Why BJJ Is The Best Martial Art For Combating Mental Illness
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A traumatic past left me with anxiety and depression issues as well as a significant amount of pent up rage. With no guidance of how to deal with it, I turned to punching a bag for relief. Luckily for me it started to work, and I fell in love with martial arts.
Eventually I came across BJJ and I was hooked - the social atmosphere, constant learning, physicality and the practicality in a self defence situation all combined to be one of the best treatments for my mental health issues...
Finding the Balance Between Mania and Creativity - Words from a Mentally Ill Writer
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It is 4am as I write this, I am slightly inebriated and my brain is buzzing. I have been up all night writing and I am still going. I can’t stop.
I must keep writing. When I get on a roll I can’t help it. Something comes over me and I must get it out. It is an affliction. This has happened before and will happen again...
Read MoreWhy Having a Child Isn’t as Bad as Everyone Says It’s Going to Be
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In the months leading up the birth of my first child, I noticed something strange occurring. Almost everyone that I told the news to had the same reaction. First, they congratulated me, then they proceeded to tell me endless stories of the horrors of childbirth and fatherhood.
They would share tales of sleepless nights, never ending inconsolable crying and the mountains upon mountains of poo that regularly explodes out of nappies.
All of this combined in my mind to create a storm of anxious rumination. As the pregnancy progressed, my mental health steadily declined. I would bounce between dissociation and anxiety with a dash of regret thrown in there.
This is the post that I wish was available to me during that time.
Read MoreYour Anxiety is a Liar – and it’s Costing You Years of Your Life
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Reflecting on my experiences with anxiety leaves me with a one sentence, anxiety killing mantra:
“Anxiety is a liar and it’s taking up too much of my life”.
I want to prove it to you. Consider the following questions:
- When has it ever been as bad as you thought it was going to be?
-How many times have you worried about something that just has never occurred?
-How many anxious thoughts do you have about one thing - could each possible outcome come true?
-How many times were you anxious before an event, only to be completely fine during the event?
Why Mental Illness Does Not Excuse Your Behaviour Towards Others
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"People often excuse a behaviour if there are extenuating circumstances.
We tend to forgive, downplay or simply ignore it, because we realise that the person doing the behaviour is going through something significant and therefore are ‘not themselves’ at the moment..."
Read MoreHow Every Tweet is Changing You – Without Your Consent
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"It is very hard to un-hear something. Once you have been exposed to an idea, it is impossible to remove the stain of that idea out of your consciousness.
You can try and counter it, to disprove it, to ignore it or to fill your mind with other thoughts. Regardless, once it is in, it is there forever. Whether or not you asked to have that piece of information is irrelevant..."
Read MoreIf People Gossip To You, They Gossip About You
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"If you think that people won’t share your secrets with others, you are probably mistaken.
I can feel you instantly balking at this statement. The mere thought that your friends or family could betray your trust is confronting. This is a reasonable enough response, the idea that those closest could be talking about you disparagingly, can create an extreme level of cognitive dissonance. It is far easier to assume that if you tell someone something in confidence, it will stay that way..."
Read MoreYou Are Always Only One Decision Away From a Totally Different Life
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Just less than a year ago, I experienced an assault that dramatically changed who I was and how my brain functioned. It has been a slow decline down through depression, anxiety and isolation. The end game with that assault was too domination and control me.
Read MoreWhy Men Commit Suicide More Than Women
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"Suicide is the leading cause of death for young men. So if you know a young male aged 15-25, chances are that they have contemplated it at some stage.
Make sure you are there for them and that they know it..."
Read MoreWriting Saved My Life
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"I don't know where to start other then by saying that writing saved my life, and I wanted to share that with you..."
Read MorePutting Yourself First is Not Selfish
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"People should look after themselves first. Now this is not a selfish idea either mind you, I believe that it is to the benefit of society as a whole, as well as in the best interests of the individual that would be the recipient of the sacrifice. Because if you don’t look after yourself, and you fall, how will that person get the help they need...?"
Read MoreTry Before You Die: The Two Pieces Of Advice That Stopped Me Committing Suicide
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"Each time that I was close to following through, one thought kept coming to mind. It was so poignant that I couldn’t shake it ..."
Read MoreDo Antidepressants Make You Emotionless? How Antidepressants Saved My Life, But Didn’t Make It Worth Living
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Despite being great at keeping me alive antidepressants are certainly not ideal. Regardless of the type I tried, I faced the same issues. First were the debilitating side effects ...
Read MoreWhat To Do After A Fight
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A violent conflict is a serious event, you could face psychological, physical or legal concequences for your involvement - even if you didn't "start it'
Read MoreWhat You Need To Know To End a Fight Quickly
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You need to act. Violently.
Most people struggle with this. Even when being attacked, many feel unable or unwilling to respond in kind. But please remember, you are in a situation where avoidance, de-escalation and negotiation have all failed ...
Read MoreThe 100 Meter Sprint - The Best Martial Arts For Self Defence You Will Ever Learn
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I often joke with my students that ‘the best style of self-defence is the 100-meter sprint’. But there is a lot of truth to it. If you are not being restrained, just run. Don’t think about it, just get out of there, fast ...
Read MorePreventing Conflict Is The Best Form Of Self Defence
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If you want to stay safe it really is simple, do not put yourself in danger in the first place. Obvious I know, but many martial arts instructors fail to emphasize this point.
Taken to the extreme, people assume that I am advising them to stay indoors for eternity. To wrap themselves in cotton wool and remain hidden under the protection of their beds. Far from it ...
Read MoreLessons Learnt from Ten Years of Adults Martial Arts Classes
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Training should be realistic and energetic. Each technique should have a purpose, be easy to implement in real circumstances, as well as hold up to pressure testing ...
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